Marvel Read-Through: Thor & Eternals & Celestials… Oh my!
It’s fair to say I’ve been thoroughly enjoying this project so far. Most of my reviews have been positive, and even the negative hasn’t been so bad. Well, I was going to come across something really bad eventually. That something is The Celestial Saga.
So this all starts in 1976’s Eternals #1. Jack Kirby returned to Marvel to publish his pet project about a race of immortal superbeings, who have secretly been around since the dawn of man. It’s a big part of Marvel mythology, although not well-known or often referenced. 2021’s movie brought more attention to the Eternals and a recent excellent run by Kieron Gillen put them at the forefront of the comics for a time, but they aren’t big characters. I’ll try to explain the necessary in-universe history as best as I can, but it’s seriously complex.
The Celestials, space Gods, came to Earth and experimented on apes, creating three races: Deviants, humans, and Eternals. Deviants look like monsters and are evil. Eternals look like humans but have superpowers and have lived forever on the mountain tops…? I’m not sure this explains how almost their entire civilization (including cities and infrastructure) was unknown to man but sure, they lived up high. Also, some Eternals have been worshipped as Inca, Aztec, and Maya Gods. Anyway, the Deviants conquered the Earth through force and enslaved humans. The Celestials returned to Earth to judge their experiments and destroyed Deviant civilization. Deviants then ended up living underground/underwater/inside the Earth while humans became the dominant race. Now, the Celestials have once again returned to judge, and the Eternals are ready to welcome the Gods while the Deviants want to destroy them. Also the judgement lasts fifty years, ending in 2027, which is eerily soon in real life. Ah, I love comic book sliding timescales.
Here’s the explanation from Eternals #1 and Thor Annual #7. Ikaris and Virako do a better job explaining it than I do.
This is a huge revelation for Marvel in-universe history. And I know, it’s complicated as hell and kind of nonsensical, but it’s what we’ve got. Kirby does a good enough job with Eternals. I read the first two issues. Maybe one day I can explore all twenty issues and get the whole picture of his vision. The art is glorious, of course. It’s wonderful to have Kirby back, even if it does look a little dated and Silver Age. I know he wrote most of the dialogue in the old days while Stan Lee was the ideas guy, but maybe Kirby needs a Lee to rein in or simplify his vast, complex, high-concept vision of the world’s history.
Sadly, Eternals was not a hit and was cancelled after nineteen issues and one annual, before all its plots could be resolved. This led to Roy Thomas using the characters in Thor Annual #7. In it, Thor learns that he has forgotten that thousands of years ago he teamed up with the Eternals to stop some mutates, Deviant creations, from ruling primitive humans. It turns out that Eternals had helped humans build civilization, explaining why some of them have similar names to mythological Gods. The Celestials came to judge so the Eternals erased all memory of this event from Thor’s mind. It’s a fun enough story on its own. A worthy annual issue. But in the grand scheme, it adds a bit more lore: the Celestials have already judged humans once and are now back for the fourth judgement of Earth. I love Thomas, I really do. But, I’ve said it before, his writing it feels dated. I think he would fare better as just an editor at this point. This was the first issue I’ve read that was drawn by Walt Simonson, though! I loved the art. I’m very excited for him to take charge on Thor and read through his character-defining run.
Remember when I said this was bad? Get ready for the most arduous slog I’ve had to read for this blog. It felt more like a chore than a hobby. I didn’t want to read and had to force myself to get through the last few issues. Why, you ask? Because it was a nineteen-issue arc that takes an unnecessary detour halfway through, becoming painfully boring as it meanders through a retelling of Richard Wagner’s Ring Cycle.
I’m not going to even bother going into the full story here. It is so long and convoluted with a horde of new one-off characters that there’s no possible way I could ever clearly explain it. I found myself going back to previous issues and rereading panels just to follow the story. And still I barely followed it. I can’t even piece together the story in my own head right now. You just need to know that Thor encounters the Eternals and Celestials again, and wants to prove that humanity is worth keeping around before the final judgement. He succeeds. Oh, and seven and a half issues are Odin’s severed eye revealing another part of Thor’s past that he has forgotten.
The first part of this mess was actually quite pleasant. Thomas’ writing was still dated, but I liked the story. Thor convincing the Eternals to turn on their masters and fight back so that humans can live, and the ensuing Asgard/Olympus team up culminated in an epic battle against the Celestials. Of course, it went on for far too long with Thor getting sidetracked for a few issues in the middle, but it was still an enjoyable, if heavily flawed, read.
And then came the aforementioned seven and a half issues. Thomas wanted to write a comic book retelling of the Ring Cycle, which is perfectly fine. He has every right to do so. But he uses the end of his Thor run to do it, inserting Thor characters into the story in place of Wagner’s originals. He clearly doesn’t want to be writing Thor. The story with the Celestials comes to a screeching halt and it is revealed that Thor has forgotten part of his past (again). This retelling goes on for far too long and is far too confusing. The whole point is to explain some sort of deal Odin made with the Celestials long ago, and I think this could have easily been done in far fewer issues without having to warp the Ring Cycle into the history of the Marvel universe.
I don’t know what more I can say other than how boring and long this whole section of The Celestial Saga is. It is extremely wordy, complex, and dull the whole way through. This is Thomas’ worst work. I get that he had a dream project and saw his chance here, but it has no place in a Thor book. Strangely, he exits the title before finishing so Ralph Macchio (no, not the actor) and Mark Gruenwald take over for the final four issues, but there’s not much they can do to save it at this point. It’s obvious that Thomas was still in charge and his story had to be completed before they could do their own thing. I can’t fault them for how little I cared by the time I was forcing myself through these issues.
The big 300th issue finally finishes up Odin’s eye’s story and lets Thor return to the Celestial plot. Even though I liked it at the beginning, the Ring Cycle detour left me so indifferent to how this all ends. It’s not a bad issue. Macchio and Gruenwald do their job well. Odin and Zeus rallying the other pantheon leaders to fight off the Celestials and save Earth is fun. The cliffhanger with every Asgardian dead was intriguing. Issue #301 wrapped that part up nicely too. Thor has every pantheon give him a fraction of their power to revive his people. It’s a heroic feat that gives him his proper time to shine. It’s a great showcase of the character. Thor also meets his birth mother, Gaea aka Mother Earth and I love this as an explanation for why he has such an affinity to the planet. At least it ended on a high note.
Next: things don’t get better when I read the controversial Avengers #200. I did say I wanted to read Marvel’s worst in my original post.
Issues Read:
Eternals #1–2
Thor Annual #7
Thor #283–301
Favorite issue: #288 was pretty good. I still cared at that point
And I want to share this insane panel that made me laugh out loud. It’s maybe the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever read:
Yeah, Thomas brought the birth of Jesus into this
